1). Think of a recent situation in which you found listening difficult. Which one (or more) of the four phases presented the most difficulty for you? Why? How could this have been overcome?
You can say I am like most men since I never seem to listen. The part of listening that I have the most difficulty with is memory and short term memory to be exact. Relationships involve many things but the most important part of relationships is communication. my brain tells me to process the incoming messages and I decide to discard the information. The situation that this reminds me of is a fight I had with an ex-girlfriend of mine about how i never listen or pay attention. As she was talking I could feel myself forgetting everything she was saying as she said it. The yelling and drama involved in the fight was more bothersome to me than the actual fight. The most important tip I learned was to not allow myself not to become distracted by external or internal disruptions. If I would have had tips like this I may have been more successful in relationships.
Hey Micah,
ReplyDeleteThat's a really interesting take on this topic. What you said about forgetting what she was saying as she was saying it is something that happens to me sometimes when I have conversations to people. It's not that I'm not listening, it's just that the conversation is moving so quickly that I don't really have a chance to process what is being said because I have to keep up and follow the conversation as much as I can. And you made a good point about the internal and external disruptions. When there is drama or some other distraction, it can really make it hard to block out the emotion and focus completely.
Cheers!
Hey Micah,
ReplyDeleteVery good point on that "Relationships involve many things but the most important part of relationships is communication". Your exact comment reminds me of the scene from the movie Dumb and Dumber where he says why broke up with his girlfriend and he wasn't really listening. Ive sent the link as well and not that you didn't listen to your ex, I just thought it fits.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T7hSBRkvmw
Nevertheless that sucks that as she was talking you could feel yourself not forgetting everything as she said it. Reminds me of another video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Etm-qfx3Gok
If you haven't seen it, he is listening and but this is what he actually thinking as the guy talks. I agree that the most important tip you could use is to not allow yourself to become distracted by external or internal disruptions. In doing so you could possibly have more successful relationships. Good luck to you.
First off, lol.
ReplyDeleteYour relationship situation about how you never seem to pay attention reminds me of my past situation! We are guys! not our fault! I guess since we can already "predict" the outcome of the argument, or if the girl is just mad nad bit!@ing you out, you just dont sink in what is being said. Whenever my girlfriend yells at me, I try to pay attention but I do catch myself drifting off into space with my thoughts. I dont really have a great attention span and my girlfriend knows that. But when she asks me, "What did I just say" and I dont know how to respond, it usually ends in a bad way! hahaha But i completely agree with you, external and internal distractions are a huge problem, but zoning them out and focusing on the argument at hand would definitely turn the tide of the battle. Being distracted is so hard especially when your focus is somewhere else. But having the ability to focus on the actual topic would definitely make things a lot better for yours and my situation!